


Subtleties

by Dragonkitty



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Love Triangles, Marvel Comics - Freeform, Marvel Universe, The Avengers - Freeform, mcu - Freeform, subtleties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:38:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8731561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonkitty/pseuds/Dragonkitty
Summary: It’s been a year and a half. A year and a half since the man you loved died in your arms. Pietro Maximoff, a beloved member of the Avengers, died fighting Ultron alongside you. You had always thought being an Inhuman meant you’d be able to protect those you loved and working with the Avengers would do good. But after Pietro’s loss, nothing was the same. You left with the help of Dr. Steven Strange to live a life of solitude, so afraid of losing anyone else. Even the man who had begun to love you, Captain Steve Rogers, was left behind in the aftermath, destroyed at the idea you might lose someone else as well.
Until now.
It's been six months since you’ve spoken to an Avenger, six months since you’ve considered leaving the small town in Montana you’ve called home. But something drastic is about to happen. More than the powers you hold, your entire world is about to change once more.





	1. Chapter 1

It was subtle. The shift in energy that ran down your spine was almost unnoticeable and certainly almost unrecognizable. But you were a woman who knew what you felt and usually what it signaled. Being Inhuman had that perk, given your power. Or in this case, who, “I’m not interested. You should know that now.” Your gaze left the pages before you only briefly as you looked at the wooden paneling of your cabin that had been home for so long now.  
It was helpful to be an Inhuman sometimes, you supposed. Your own ability, absorption and manipulation of energy, was certainly a doozy. You had far more control than Cyclops did when it came to how you unleashed it, but you’d always struggled with taking all that energy in. You supposed it was a different side of the coin. He had his glasses, you had little bracelets that helped taper how much energy you actually took in.

The presence in question was coming from behind you however. A voice followed softly, “Y/N, give me just a moment.” The voice was Steven’s and you knew it well enough. A man who had helped you vanish, this wasn’t just Steven. This was…

You turned, closing the book gently as you narrowed your eyes a bit, “You’re not the Doctor Strange I know.” The man before your looked worse for wear. He had the same tell-tale clothing, the same streaks of grey in his hair. His eyes were stoic and cold, but he looked battle worn. More than that his energy, what he vibrated, was off ever so slightly. This was not the Steven Strange that you knew.

He nodded, “Astute in this world as you were in my own.” He forced a smile, the scratches on his face visible along with a cut by his lip. The past tense was not lost on you.

“What are you doing here?” The book was placed on your bed as you stood, wrapping your blanket around your shoulders. It had been a good six months since you’d spoken with anyone associated with the Avengers and a year since you had left them last. Your choice to remain away from all the fighting and killing was done to protect yourself. You couldn’t manage the loss of another friend or lover. You couldn’t manage loss in any capacity. You had been given your freedom by Strange when he understood you only wanted silence. You wanted peace and that would never be gained by remaining with the others.

A pained look crossed his features and he shook his head, “Something I would never do had I any other option. I am here because I have to be. I have crossed realities to get to you, Y/N. You exist in so few.” Your heart sank as you listened. This was definitely not your Strange. Your Strange had agreed to let your remain in peace. His energy was slightly off as well. It was the subtle change in a fingerprint that only the reader would notice.

Your eyes cast down to the floor, the worn wood that had given you a home, “Your counterpart from this world doesn’t know you’re here, does he?” You glanced back up at the man who was already pleading without speaking.

He nodded, “No, and I would prefer it remain that way. I suspect he will learn with time, which makes this matter the more pressing.” His movements were swift as his heavy shoes lead him towards the woman before him. He reached out and took both your hands, eyes concerned, “I need to take you to my world. It is, of course, not unlike this one. And I will ask of you to step forward into battle. There is a fight that my team cannot win without you. We are at an impasse, and you are the push we need.”

You felt the concern in him. It would be impossible to hide his energy were he a shifter of sorts. He knew that. He knew you were reading him and that you would know he was telling the truth. You knew that he knew. Different reality; same man. Basically. “What kind of destruction is upon your reality that you would come to me? And how would you know to?” It was your kind way of asking what you had a feeling you already knew the answer to. Strange sighed, looking around, deciding he had some time on his hands.

He motioned to the modest wooden table, taking a seat across from you, “As I said, you exist in few realities. I suspect that comes from the very fact that your placement in our world is an anomaly in itself. It means your reality… it radiates. This reality radiated the loudest and it is the first I have come to beyond my own in my search.” His face was concerned, but it was compassion he echoed forward, “Y/N… in my world, you met with tragedy long before our current foe came ahead. It is Doctor Doom, but so much more. You were such a powerful ally, and I know you’re able to tip the scales.”

There was a strong part of you that wanted to demand he explain how you passed. It was beyond odd to hear that your own counterpart, what few there were, had perished. Was it natural? Was there a fight you might have encountered had you not opted out? You wondered for the briefest of moments how close you might have come here to your own life ending. It had been made so clear how crucial you were alive… were you still? With all that information shared, did you matter anymore?

Instead you pushed back your hair, looking softly at Strange, “Are you sure there’s no other way to go about this?” It seemed a stupid question given how much magic was needed to bend reality to bring him here but you had to hear it. They both knew it.

Steven looked almost pained, “Had I any other options I would have taken them. I have exhausted every avenue I know. Only Stark knows I’ve come and it is at his plea I do. The rest couldn’t have that hope dangled in front of them. You presence was important where I’m from and I can only imagine the importance it has here. But there is no other choice left.” His voice was pleading and you felt it. He was becoming anxious, and it was anxiety you felt in your bones that fell from his words. Your time was limited.

So you inhaled sharply and eyed him, “I will come with you only to evaluate the situation. If I really think it’s that dire I’ll help. But that’s it. I will help and I will come back here. Are we clear?”

The sigh of relief that left Doctor Strange’s lips was almost palpable. He smiled ever so slightly, nodding his head, “Of course. I will return you the moment you wish. And if you decide not to help, I understand as well.”

Strange had always been a man of his word and you doubted that any reality changed that. People tended to hold their personalities. You were nervous about the idea of leaving this world, but Strange had assured you that you could return. You imagined, too, that the others would notice your vanishing and come looking, but you weren’t concerned.

Glancing down at the silver bracelets around your wrists you felt them tighten ever so slightly. Energy was pulsing through you and the bracelets beeped for a moment, signaling the jump from 20% to 25%, knowing this was likely from the energy Strange had radiated to get here. Nothing was ever lost.

You had left Strange briefly to change into an attire more suited for potential combat. Your boots, a pair of decorated leggings, and a large, oversized purple shooter top. Boots were fastened to your feet, your hair down. Of course you had emphasized the doubt you had that combat would be in your future but what if it was? You hated risk and you hated not being prepared. The trip itself would be jarring and you knew that much, “I will take you to outside the battle, and I am able to freeze the space around us long enough for you to assess the situation.”

You cocked an eyebrow at Strange, “You can stop time?” You were curious, adjusting your small messenger bag around your shoulder. Girl couldn’t be too prepared, right?

Strange couldn’t help but grin, “Briefly. It’s taken some practice, of course. But I must warn you, I will be exhausting much of my energy to bring you there and pause the world around us. Taking you back here will sap much more and I won’t be able to protect you once we are present. This becomes your responsibility.” His words were stoic as he explained his concerns for consequences.

A small smile danced over your lips as you nodded, “I wouldn’t worry too much, Doctor.” You walked to where he was, the man looking almost confused as you placed your hand softly against the tattered robes covering his chest. He could only watch, feeling the warmth and watching as a soft glow came from your hands. In his body he could feel the sudden rush, hearing only a soft beep from your bracelets once more as you returned energy that had been absorbed.

Shock washed over his features as he eyed you, watching your hand drop and the smile remain, “I was unaware you had that ability. You can return energy?”

You nodded, awkwardly adjusting the bag, “Just enough. Too much and I risk overwhelming the person and causing harm. Whatever energy you lose, Steven, I can return it to you. So please don’t worry that you’re going to be stuck.” You gave him a crooked grin and Steven felt a sudden rush of hope. This version of you, the one before him, had grown in ways his own had not been able to. You had been taken six months ago but the wound still felt new. It was clear how much power and potential you’d always had. That this version of you did have.

Sensing the sudden discomfort you patted his arm, “All right, Steve. We gonna sit here all day or did you actually need me to help?” There was a sort of sadness in Strange as he heard you use the variant of his name he’d always disliked. It was the same variant his own Y/N had used. It was a variant he hadn’t heard in a long time.

He nodded and soon the two of you were standing outside of the fortified cabin deep within the mountains of Montana. It was private and secluded which was what you had wanted, “They’re going to notice your absence not long after you leave. I have a feeling they won’t be able to follow us, but it’s crucial we are quick once we arrive.”

You nodded and looked at the space before the two of you, “So what am I looking at once I get there?” You were happy that the sun was beginning to set and cold air was falling over you. It was going to get rather frigid soon. You were sorry to miss it.

Strange nodded, “Doctor Doom has managed to get his hands on a device that allows him to harness the energy of a crystal. The origin of the item has yet to be determined, but it’s given him the ability to summon creatures that have kept us rather occupied. Unfortunately, none of us have been able to get through his own energy barriers to the crystal.” Ah, there’s the rub. The reason that you of all people had been called upon. Your own ability to manipulate energy would give you an advantage, and you doubted with what you learned it would be nearly as hard as the others had experienced.

So you smiled, “All right, handsome. Anything else I need to know goin’ in.” Your eyes were nervous but eager suddenly, and it was not lost on the man before you.

He could only force a weak smile, “I only request your visit remain as brief as possible. There are some who were especially wounded by your loss, and I am afraid of the response should they see you again. I cannot emphasize enough what an asset you were.”

There was a sharp tug at your chest as you considered this. Your own romantic situation had been cut tragically short when Steve Rogers had insisted there was no way he could ever stop fighting. Nor would you have asked. Instead, you broke things off to keep yourself safe, aware that losing anyone else close to you might just rip you to shreds. Losing Pietro had been devastating and you knew that fighting hurt. Perhaps the opposite had happened where this Strange came from. Maybe you were the one who was taken instead.

Nodding, you watched as Strange placed a palm up towards the open space before you both. His focus and concentration had always been amazing to you and you loved to watch his manipulation of magic at work. Indeed, this was no different. A large circle popped open as a whirlpool of energy, blues and greens glittering and shimmering as you peered curiously through. It was an open area much like the one you inhabited now, making you feel better about going over. Less likely there might be civilian casualties.

Looking at Strange one more time you took in a sharp breath, stepping forward without needing to be told. The energy as you went through felt breathtaking. It was like being on a roller coaster but standing perfectly still. It was a rush through your body, all consuming, closing your eyes as you took the only step you would need to take through the portal.


	2. Rules of Engagement

Stepping onto the other side, the air felt different somehow. Your feet planted into the dirt with a soft press, looking around at this new world. Much of it looked wrecked from battle, and you were sure it might be identical to your own were it not for that difference. A soft beep from your cuffs alerted you that your energy intake had jumped to _27%_ by walking through the portal. Not a concerning number but enough of a bump to catch your attention.

Turning, you watched as Strange came through, looking almost nervous as he eyed the world before him, “I’ve paused time around us. I should warn you, before we step forward, there is much destruction. We have already lost one ally in this battle which was the deciding factor in bringing you here. Y/N, we cannot afford to lose this. Doom will take hold.”

A part of you, the part you knew well, screamed within your head. It was the logical piece that told you that if this universe was meant to perish at the hands of Victor Von Doom, then it would. Interfering would do no one any good and might have dire consequences. Then again, what if he did take over and moved on to your own world? What if you were forced to face him after he had already torn apart these people? What if he became unstoppable? This wasn’t simply a matter of letting the world take care of itself but was instead stopping something before it started.

“I understand. I’m gonna drop my bag here and go ahead and have a look around with you. That sound OK?” You were already taking the messenger bag from around your torso and leaning it against a tree. Sure, there were signs of fighting, but it was a bit far from where the two of you were and your things would be safe. If not? Well, you didn’t need the things in there that badly. A journal and some items that might have come in handy.

Strange nodded wordlessly and walked forward in somewhat of a hurry with you following behind. You didn’t need to be told twice that this was not going to be pleasant, and as you cleared the forest, you could see why. Your eyes widened at the scene that awaited, playing out more like the final scene in a movie rather than the winning scene that has the audience cheering. To your left was the first fighter, watching as Captain America himself held his shield tight, a creature three times his size baring down its claws at him. To your right ahead was Iron Man, repulsor rays out and trying hard to fight off another two flying creatures.

Your feet pressed onwards as you watched. Steve was already bleeding from what you could tell and Tony’s armor had sustained considerable damage. Strange was silent as you walked, on your own now, looking at a tattered Spider-Man trying to go face-to-face with another horrid looking monster. Half flesh, half machine. Across was Bucky lying face-down and trying to lift himself from the dirt, looking up then to see Falcon trying desperately to shoot at more of the creatures above. Black Widow was holding a wound as she let off gunshots nearby. None of it was good.

The fighting was clear and each individual was beyond hurt. They were all fighting with whatever they had left, which wasn’t much from the energy you picked up. But the two that stopped you in your tracks was beyond a shock. Narrowing your eyes, you knelt carefully down by a sobbing Pietro, holding in his arms his deceased sister, gaping hole in your chest a sign that this was the loss Strange had been referring to. The pain on Pietro’s face was indescribable, except that you had seen it on Wanda’s own when Pietro had been the one to fall. Watching the man you had loved so deeply in so much pain brought back a slew of memories. It was hard not to reach out and take hold of him.

Without realizing it you recalled your own accounts with Wanda. You remembered moments of laughter, sharing drinks and stories after a long day. You remembered making energy swirls in the air, each with your respective colors. You remembered how Wanda had helped your pick out a dress Steve would like at the Christmas party once you had tried to get a sense of normalcy after Pietro’s passing, or how she had helped you cope with his loss. Together you had moved away from the darkness. Her laughter echoed within the walls of your mind but were snuffed out as you watched the lifeless body before you, a shattered sibling sobbing as he held her close.

A sort of rage you knew only briefly began to build once more without even realizing it. You found yourself standing again, fists clenched by your sides as you watched Doctor Doom about a hundred yards ahead. He was holding his arms out, the crystal in question shining a vibrant white and silver as he held it to his chest as a locket. The power emanating from it was loud and it called to you. It was a dark power. It was rage. But you had learned to harness rage in your time where you had come from. Hadn’t you?

It didn’t stop the anger from coursing through you, slow steps leading you forward as you felt the energy build. Multiple beeps went off from the bracelets meant to control your abilities and none halted your progress. Strange was calling out to you that your time was running out and you barely heard it. Movement picked up again, slowly at first, but it was clear as the world began to catch up others were seeing you, their expressions changing ever so slightly.

The one who stopped, however, was Pietro. His eyes were wide as the tears fell but they were trained on you walking steadily closer to the man no one could get remotely near, “You!” Dr. Doom called out angrily, clearly startled, suddenly summoning up a creature from beneath the earth as time started back up.

It ran towards you, mechanical jowls chomping and snarling but mammalian body charging still. Your eyes stayed focused and trained at the man before you as you hardly even stopped moving. Raising a palm you let out a blast of energy, slamming into the creature and decimating it at once. It shattered like glass and dissipated into the air though it were nothing. Doom stumbled as you let loose, tripping back, “This cannot be! Strange, what sorcery have you concocted? It won’t stop me!”

Again he summoned two more creatures, twice as big and twice as mean. The bracelets, had you bothered to look, were blinking _“87%”_ in white numbers. Instead you let out a yell, almost as animalistic as the creatures before you, summoning your energy forward in the shape of a blade and slicing each monstrosity in half, jumping as you did so and landing before Doom. Still you didn’t speak, but you didn’t need to.

In your time fighting you had since penetrated the barrier, standing closer to the man who had killed your best friend. Closer than any of the others had, “You are not invincible. Let me show you my world.” Your fist reeled back, swirling blue energy surrounding it as it slammed forward and connected with Doom’s chest. It sent him flying backwards hard, stopped only by you, extending your hand to grab hold of the energy that had once cocooned him.

Yanking forward like a lasso, you slammed your own body, shielded again by your energy, into Doom’s, sending him hard into the ground. The world beneath you both shook as you knelt by him, hand wrapped around his metal covered neck. Lifting him into the air, weight hardly an issue, you continued your assault. The creatures so attuned to Doom and summoned by him had become slower and more lethargic, the Avengers making easy work of what was left.

But as you pinned back Doom, his eyes locked onto yours, the alarm that sounded at _95%_ went unheard by the woman that held him, “How is this possible? You can’t do this! This world is mine!” He was struggling against you, almost whimpering.

Your eyes flashed a brilliant blue if for a moment as you grabbed the crystal from his neck and tore it off, “This world is _theirs!_ ” From there, you let out an incredible blast of energy, slamming the now motionless Doom into the wall of the forest.

Gripping the crystal still, the bracelets finally hit their mark, _99%_ flashing and beeping as you held tight to the source of Doom’s power. Your vision was becoming dim and it was hard to focus but you knew the creatures were down just as Doom was. You also knew what was going to happen next. The failsafe so useful in the bracelets would release and the release would leave you unconscious. A safety measure to be sure, the last time you were consumed by the energy you had blown a hole in the side of the Avengers’ tower.

Stumbling, you watched as everyone came rushing over in slow motion. But you knew. Even as your eyes rolled back in your head and your knees went weak, you were aware of what was happening.

_Fuck._


	3. Chapter 3

Strange watched as you collapsed into a heap on the ground, hand still limply holding the crystal that had caused them so much grief. So much power. It was a crystal they’d have to figure out how to manage on their own time. For now the goal was clear: get the crystal and you back to Headquarters.

“Is that…” Rogers was the first to notice, kneeling down by you and brushing back your hair. You looked so fragile and it reminded him of the day they lost you. So how were you here?

Tony stepped forward, removing the busted mask from his face, “Yes and no. Strange can explain it but we’ve gotta get back to the Tower and lock up this psychopath before anything else goes down,” He glanced at the unconscious Doctor Doom, “Vision, can you keep the crystal safe?” Normally it was Steve that lead the pack but he knew even less than Tony and that was barely enough.

The man who felt so little was more understanding of the situation, “Of course. I can hold it for the time being. Might I suggest we discuss the arrival of Ms. Y/L/N once we return?” His eyes lifted to Tony who was kneeling by your unconscious form, the woman he had treated like a daughter and lost just as powerfully.

As he scooped you up he nodded, “You know I was thinking of just ignoring the fact that our dead ally came back, but yeah your idea works, too.” You were limp in his arms as he held you, feeling that broken part of his chest rocking all over again. They were avoiding the pain, of course, of the lost Wanda who Pietro was still cradling in his arms. Another loss to mourn. Another fallen comrade. Another sacrifice. And for what?

Strange had gone to get your bag, the group boarding the Quinjet to head back to base. They were all so confused and so tired and none wanted to acknowledge everything that had just happened. This woman who looked like their Y/N had come forward and single-handedly ended a battle that had taken them an entire team, losing some in the process, to even make a dent in. It was surreal even for them.

It was Natasha who spoke first, softly eyeing you and checking you over for any wounds she sort of knew weren’t there, “You took her from another reality, didn’t you? I mean, there’s no way you resurrected her.” Nat didn’t know quite the extent of Strange’s powers but they all knew you were gone. Your death had been final and even the queen of keeping her emotions stowed had been heartbroken when you passed.

Strange nodded, “I requested her presence. This Y/N… She’s harnessed her powers in ways we haven’t seen before. She’s powerful. She was our only chance at defeating Doom and I wish I’d known that sooner.” His eyes fell to Pietro, now stoic, his face blank as he looked off into space. Blood was caked to his clothing, and Wanda’s body had been covered and taken care of. No one knew what to say to the man who had lost his twin. More than that… You were back. What did you say to a man who had lost and gained in the same moment?

For the rest of the ride silence reigned. As the jet parked and everyone got off, your form was once more carried by Stark in his armor, “She’s alive, but she’s not conscious and I wanna know why. I’m bringing her to the infirmary and we can monitor her vitals. From there, we need to talk.” Pietro exited in a walk, saying nothing as he walked past the group. No one expected him to be present. Strange had hoped that your defeat of Doom could be swift, resulting in your quick return. What happened none could have predicted. You could never have known you’d absorb so much energy it would be forced to release all at once as a safeguard. It left you vulnerable.

Tony carried you to the lab, his eyes watering as he did. He remembered the moment they lost you and had seen the pain in Loki’s eyes as his consciousness returned to him. He had been the one to impale your with his staff as you had been pleading that he stop. A powerful ally along with his brother, Loki had been brainwashed. Your desperate attempts to help had left you dead, murdered, and he had vanished after. No one had blamed him but they understood. This Loki was not the one you knew. This one was good.

As he laid you on the table, his own armor slowly removed as he hooked up your vitals, Tony remembered watching you as you died. Pietro had held you just as he had his sister, tears pouring, and he had felt so decimated. A man torn apart. A man broken. And now they were faced with this other version of you, they had lost but who was theirs. In a way you still were, though. You had made a choice to come to this world and help which was something his own Y/N would do. You would have put others before yourself any day of the week.

“Shit…” Tony muttered as he braced himself on the sturdy bed, closing his eyes and leaning down.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Steve’s voice came from behind him, the bleeding Captain having removed his mask at this point. He knew any wounds he had would heal, no matter how much they hurt. What he wanted to know was the same as Tony which was why he was standing in the room now.

Standing up Tony sighed heavily, “Why’s she here, Cap? I told Strange we needed a Hail Mary and to send her back the second she was done. So why’s she unconscious on this bed?” He turned, rather banged up himself, motioning to the unconscious woman with a stable heartrate. From what he could tell, you were mostly sleeping. It wasn’t even technically a coma, but you sure as hell weren’t getting up.

Steve walked to the bed beside Tony and looked down at the woman so terribly similar to the one they had lost, “Strange brought her over… whatever she went through clearly changed what she’s capable of. We don’t know anything about her.” Steve reached out and touched one of the silver bands around your wrist, looking a bit confused as it let out a soft beep, “1%” flashing on the screen.

“The hell…?” Tony looked down, unaware of the bracelets until now, looking at them. Steve stepped aside as Tony reached around your wrists, fidgeting as he tried to unhook them, “Our Y/N never had these. They look like something I’d put together though.” It was true that the style and design was quite similar to his own armor’s bracelets.

He had a sinking feeling, as he eyed the technology, that it was directly connected to your own energy intake. Their Y/N had taken the time to focus on how to harness energy, your Inhuman power, but perhaps this one hadn’t been able to. Perhaps this version of you had needed the assistance of a device. Did that mean you were strong? Or did it mean you were unpredictable?

The two had decided to leave you after. Tony knew that you were stable for now and as long as you were monitored they were all safe. Besides, they had pressing matters to deal with. He needed to ensure his team was safe and that the Iron Legion had been dispatched to cleanup and help with care needed on the ground. Doom was held safely in their own prison and there was the matter of maintaining the safety of the crystal. On top of all that, they had lost Wanda.

Had he been a more cautious man Tony might have locked the door where you rested. But he was not concerned. If you had come from another world to save their lives and risked your own to do so he doubted you would pose a threat now. You needed Strange in order to go back. You were just as vulnerable as the day he’d met you, torn open from your old life without much of a choice.


	4. Chapter 4

_Wake up, beautiful… Printesa, you cannot sleep the day away._ The words carried into your mind, and you were desperate to cling to them. Except you knew that Pietro was not lying next to you, curled up in the blankets with his eyes wide and focused. You knew what you woke up it would be to something so different.

Blinking a few times, you allowed the world to come into focus. It was not one you recognized which made sense. You were not in your world. Were you? No… You were elsewhere. The air even felt different. It was hard to explain. Your body felt heavy as you woke knowing you didn’t want to rise. You had contemplated staying in bed as long as possible though understood that was not an option. You could feel those same monitors hooked up to you and monitoring you, beeping as you woke. Infernal things.

Your eyes stayed open and you stared at the sterile ceiling of what felt like a laboratory infirmary, “Son of a bitch…” The words escaped your lips as you analyzed the situation. Sitting up carefully, you glanced down at the bracelet and saw that it read, “5%” in dim letters. You’d need 10% to function even at a baseline, and 15% to be wholly yourself. 20% was ideal, but you were a long way from there. The bracelets were tapering you back as you had taken in so much. Rather than risk bodily damage you would slowly be acclimated back.

Squinting slightly you eyed yourself as you pushed off the blanket with great effort. You had been changed into a pair of gym shorts and a tank top reading, “STARK INDUSTRIES” across it. A soft laugh came from your lips and you shook your head. Some things never did change. It was an identical moment to your first arrival in this new world which seemed fitting to arriving in your current one. History had a way of repeating itself even when you didn’t want it to.

Wincing, you pulled your body upright, letting your legs hang off of the bed you had been tucked into. The world was slowly coming back to you and with that came the memory of what happened before you passed out. Your bracelets, those things meant to keep your safe, had zapped you of everything before your body could overload. After the breakdown you had been through of almost dying (you know, that little thing) Stark had given you those to keep you safe. And normally they worked like a charm. You had yet to even hit 70%, but this had hit 100%. All that rage from seeing those you had known in another world so hurt and all that power from whatever it was Doom had, sent your spiraling downwards. You had taken in everything.

Rubbing your head you looked ahead as voices suddenly rang out, “You asked him?!” It was Clint’s voice shouting, a few muffled ones rising up after. Squinting, you sauntered to the door of the room, carefully opening it and peering out. It was a strange scene, watching as the group you knew, but didn’t know, circled around a table looking rather agitated. It was Clint who was standing, “You had no right bringing her here!”

None had noticed you yet, hanging back as Natasha spoke, “And if he hadn’t? Wanda wouldn’t be the only one dead, Clint. We all would be.” Her voice was pleading as she spoke with her longtime friend.

“It’s not our place to keep her here, and we know that. Strange, how do we get her home?” Steve looked over at Strange with a voice of concern, his own wounds having healed somewhat making you certain you at least hadn’t been out too long. Last time you were unconscious it had been days, possibly a week. This had been a day at most, the darkness outside signaling that you were perhaps correct. Especially if they were having this conversation.

Strange nodded, “The goal was to have her return to me energy exerted to get her here. She’s not well enough to manage a trip back at this time, nor am I prepared to be trapped in another universe, even temporarily. Our interference is likely to be frowned upon.”

Rhodes’ voice rose, “They don’t even know she’s gone? No, that’s great. That’s what we need. Other versions of us pissed off because she’s gone. We know what Y/N knows! And what we saw back there? That’s more than we’ve ever seen her do. There’s no fucking way she can stay here.” He held up his hands defensively, angry now, clearly.

“You think I don’t know that? Even for Pietro’s sake! He lost Wanda, and now the woman he loved, the woman we all cared about, the one who died in his fucking arms, is back.” Tony’s fist struck the table and you stumbled, startled slightly and jumping, hitting the door and causing everyone to turn around.

Your eyes were wide, still trying to force yourself to hold onto the energy you needed just to stand, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. If I had-” your sentence was cut off as you looked to the side at the movement catching the corner of your eye. It was hard to comprehend the man standing off to the side with his arms down. His eyes were full of sadness you knew well, sadness you had watched vanish. You had felt Pietro leave your world and with it everything you had felt so powerfully about.

“I am not sorry.” His voice was heavy. All of it was. The room had frozen and in that moment two people who had already lost one another stared solemnly. It felt so strange, you had thought. His own energy was so identical to the one of your world. Identical enough that it hurt to look at him. It was like watching a ghost.

Your head shook, suddenly dizzy as your heart raced, “I… I need… I can’t…” Gripping the door handle, you began to stumble. _I have to get to the bed…_ The world was getting hazy again as you turned and wobbled, beginning to tumble. That was when you felt it. A swift breeze beneath you and before you knew it, rather than hitting the floor you were in the strong arms of the man you had lost.

The group moved, a few walking to where you were, Tony crouching near you trying to ignore the powerful nature of what was happening, “Hey, what’s going on?” Your bracelets beeped again, as if on cue. Tony looked down, watching as the screen beeped and flashed at 6%.

You shook your head, trying to steady yourself in the man’s arms, feeling him help you to your feet silently, “It’s the bracelets. They help me limit the amount of energy I take in. Normally they’re pretty good about limiting, but when I encounter something like yesterday, or my emotions take over-”

“Or both.” Strange interjected, looking over at you.

“Or both. Yeah. I take in too much and the bracelets hit a failsafe. It’s an emergency release of almost everything. When I first got a handle of my powers I didn’t sleep for two weeks. Too much and I started hallucinating and had a pretty nasty seizure. My Tony actually made the bracelets and helped limit what I took, sort of like Daisy. The problem with the failsafe is the energy has to slowly build again to make sure I don’t get hurt.” You winced, not realizing you were still holding onto Pietro, and he to you. It was hard to let go of someone you felt so safe with.

Tony rubbed his face as he took in the information, “Makes sense. Sort of looks like the bracelets I designed for my prototype a while back. So what percentage do you need to be at to not be passing out?” He raised an eyebrow, you suddenly self-conscious of holding Pietro, steadying yourself and letting go much to his disappointment.

Your eyes raised to Tony, “Typically I function reasonably well at ten percent, and five helps me barely get by. The bracelets are going to limit how fast the energy comes back in. My body gets damaged with so much energy in me. It’s a chemical mixture.” You shook your own head and pushed back your hair, “I know you don’t want me here, and I don’t take it personally, I just know there’s not much to do about that now.”

Natasha looked almost hurt, “It’s not that we don’t want you here, Y/N, it’s just… we lost you. This hurts all over again.” Hearing the spy use not just your nickname but admit to a devastating sort of emotion was just as powerful to you.

Clint huffed, “Speak for yourself, Nat. No offense, but you’re just a reminder of what we don’t have anymore.” The words were cutting and you were more than hurt due to who they came from.

“Clint!” Natasha looked wounded just the same and you felt yourself stepping back instinctively. Not that you expected anyone to hurt you, but you had already hurt them.

“I’m not saying Clint’s right, but we need to keep in mind Y/N’s not permanent, guys. I’m sorry, Y/N, but it’s true. You being here is rough. And from the sounds of it your own folks are gonna be pretty pissed.” Sam Wilson, ever the voice of reason despite that jovial outside. His words were solid and they were true. No one was angry, but they were forced to deal with what they had just buried so recently.

You nodded, “Listen, I’m sure my being here isn’t great, so give me a room and I’ll hole up for a bit. Most I can do right now is rest, anyway. It’s better the world not get the idea that I’m back.” You were acutely aware at the fact that were any of your other foes to find out your return, there might be issues.

Steve sighed, “Loki’s going to know. He probably already does. How’re we going to deal with that?” His eyes looked to Tony for an answer.

You however contorted your face, “If that fuckin’ asshole tries shit again, I will personally send him back to Asgard. I’ve dealt with that sociopath enough for one lifetime, I don’t care if I’m at two percent or two-hundred.” You felt your heart begin to race, moving back to the table so you could lean against it.

Confused looks were shared, though it was Pietro who spoke, “Sociopath? Printesa, I believe we have encountered a difference between our worlds. The Loki we know has shown great kindness amidst his strife and was a powerful ally. We… we lost you when he was brainwashed. He was the one who took your life.” It had surprised everyone in that moment that of all people Pietro had chosen to speak. But his choice of Printesa had sparked a pang of grief within you.

Natasha leaned against the doorway and eyed you, “You… other you, tried hard to get through to him. Our Y/N gave up her life before she’d take his, Y/N. He vanished after. Can’t really blame him, though.” Pietro stared hard at the ground once Natasha had finished. Pietro had been the one to try and take down Loki himself. Rage had consumed him to the point of trying to kill the Asgardian. His sister had to incapacitate him and it had wounded her. It had taken months of work to get him to where he wasn’t focused on killing the man who was just as broken over taking the other you’s life.

So you shook your head again, “I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t let my emotions take over back there, but I saw Wanda and…Fuck. I lost my Pietro. I thought of losing her too, and I lost it.” Your eyes began to water as you remembered losing Pietro. You remembered the look in his eyes as his life ceased and you remembered your own rage. You had broken down and you had decimated so much. Your world had ended in that split second and you had run. It was what lead you to the woods.

Pietro’s eyes, those grey eyes that knew you so well, looked onto you whose face was focused on the floor. He understood at once why you didn’t want to be there just as much. There was pain in seeing the one you loved snatched away. He wondered for a moment what had happened to him, or perhaps how his sister had reacted. Even now, he could imagine. The pain he felt was indescribable and rage, indeed, was tickling. But Wanda had taught him that rage was not a solution. He had you back, even if it was a shadow. A brief flicker. It was you.


	5. Chapter 5

The group had dispersed after some time and the knowledge that there wasn’t much to be done. You would be set up in one of the rooms upstairs in the living quarters where a few of them occasionally stayed. The agreement was to keep Strange, Rogers, and of course Stark around. They had tried to get Pietro to return home but he had since refused. Stark had agreed to help with all of Wanda’s arrangements, but it was you he found himself focused on.

Despite the feelings of exhaustion swelling inside, you lay awake on the large mattress staring out at the city. The lights here shone just as brightly as yours and you wondered for a minute if this is how it would have felt going back to your own Avengers. The room was comfortable and you wanted to sleep but so much was still swimming through your head. How long would it take before your own world discovered your absence? Had they already? You huffed and turned in the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Sleep was not going to come easy, but you were used to this. You had spent much of your life praying for the embrace of rest that often eluded you. It wasn’t a new sensation to be getting out of the bed and walking to the living room but it certainly wasn’t one you enjoyed. Your feet were bare as they made soft padding sounds against the hardwood floor. The quarters were dark now, and empty of sound. Normally you’d have lit your way down the hall but the bracelets had seemed to stop at 6%.

The living room beckoned you, the lights from the city spilling in and give a soft glow to your surroundings. It was surreal how much was the same and you wondered for a moment if much would change should you stay. It was a thought best not to play on.

Walking to one of the large windows you placed your palm against the glass and looked out. It was cold to the touch but grounding all the same. Your eyes closed as you absorbed the feeling, focusing your breathing as you steadied your heartbeat and felt the world moving around you. Soon a soft rush filled inside of you, a gentle ‘beep’ echoing into the empty room as you opened your eyes and looked at the bracelet. 7%.

“You have always had troubles with sleep, that is what you said before, yes?” A voice to your right startled you slightly, feeling almost hurt that you hadn’t felt his presence. Pietro wandered into view, dressed in his own pajamas. He looked like he’d been crying, though you didn’t say anything.

Instead you nodded, “Always. Didn’t sleep for two weeks when I came into my abilities at first. Got pretty sick because of it. Hence the bracelets.” You eyed them as Pietro walked over casually and reached out. His hands moved over the metallic pieces having closed the gap between the two of you.

His eyes looked curiously at the devices, “I did not realize you had this much power. The Y/N I knew did not.” He let go of the bracelets and you felt the warmth of his hands leave with him. It was a strange sensation to be sure. Feeling a man who had since left your life. He was a ghost. But he was real.

“I keep hearing that. Not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I can’t really control it well. Always saw it as a hindrance.” You laughed nervously, adjusting the bracelets on your wrist as the nervous habit you couldn’t quite quit. For a long time you had seen your bracelets as a sign of weakness; it meant you had no control over what came in. Tony had tried to convince you it was a sign of power, but until today’s events you had never understood what that could look like. True power seemed beyond your abilities. It meant a loss of control.

A pained look crossed Pietro’s face, however, as you spoke. He heard it from the woman he lost, regardless of whether or not that was who you really were. He heard the woman who had fallen in his arms speaking poorly of herself and it caused him just as much pain, “Absolutely not, Printesa. You are a powerful woman, regardless of where you have come from. I know that.”

You watched as his hand reached up and gently cupped your cheek. He was warm as the man faster than anything in this world often was. He radiated heat. It was a soothing sensation and one that was not lost. Closing your eyes, wanting to absorb it, you shook your head and stepped away, “You shouldn’t call me that, Pietro. I’m not your Y/N. You’re not my Pietro. I lost a different version of you in mission against Ultron. Losing you is the reason I left the Avengers to begin with.” Your voice hadn’t raised when you stepped back but instead you spoke gently. Your hope wasn’t to harm this man in any capacity.

He stepped forward quickly, however, and took your hands, “You feel it too, I know you do. We are not so different to one another. You are my Printesa.”

All at once the world changed. A flash, a memory, a recollection of a world not your own tumbled through your mind and almost knocked you over.

_“Pietro, you shouldn’t have!” You gasped as you eyed the bracelet before you, sterling silver with a small star hanging from it. Your eyes were wide as you stared at the smiling speedster before you, “It’s absolutely perfect.” Leaning up you gently placed a kiss on his cheek, the man flushing scarlet as he watched you._

__

__

_His eyes were full of adoration as you realized suddenly that the man you had seen as a friend for so long was so much more. This super human before you had rushed into your life, and you were more than grateful. And so was he. He had finally worked up the courage to profess his love. Taking your hands he smiled softly down at you, “A perfect bracelet for my Printesa._

When the memory had ceased and you were standing still, grasping to Pietro as he watched you with concern, you shook your head, “Those weren’t my memories. How do I have your memories?” Your eyes were filled with terror and shock, confusion mixing in as well. You felt yourself suddenly perk up and heard the bracelets ping out, a flash of numbers appearing across the metal band.

Twenty-percent.

You were not shy about pounding on the door you knew was Tony’s. Rather, you were confident that he was not sharing the room with any special guests given the recent events. So when you heard the grumbling and the man sauntering you stood firmly. He opened the door, donning only pajama pants and looking like he had just woken up (probably because he had), “What the hell is going on? It’s three in the morning, Y/N. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

You shook your head sharply, “Something’s wrong, Tony.” Holding up the bracelet you showed off the band that flashed at a rapid twenty-five percent. Your body was already shaking from the influx of energy and you couldn’t control it, “I’m gaining energy faster than I should. But more than that, I’m gaining your Y/N’s memories. I can’t stop it.”

Something appeared to spark in Tony’s mind, shaking his head as he rubbed his beard, “That doesn’t make sense. What do you mean gaining them?”

It was hard to push back the panic that was beginning to erupt; not because you didn’t want these memories but because you didn’t know what it meant. So you felt tears forming, trying hard to hold them back, “I mean I’m remembering things that didn’t happen to me! My Pietro never got me a bracelet. That’s not even how we started dating! We-”

You were cut off abruptly by a confused Pietro beside you, “You saved my life. My leg had been broken and you saved me from Skrulls. It was when I realized how I felt.” His own face distorted into confusion and you looked shocked. Pietro had told so few about that moment. When he had finally professed his feelings it had been after he had almost lost you and you were recovering at the hospital. He had thought you were sleeping, but you’d heard it all. He’d vowed never to let you get hurt again. And he’d kept his promise.

“Wait hold on. That never happened.” Tony was becoming increasingly more awake, stepping out of his room and standing with both of you in the hallway. Already he was trying to process what the actual fuck had just happened.

Looking back at Pietro, you felt pain echoing in your chest, “How… how is this happening? How are we getting the others’ lost memories?” Looking down at the bracelet, you felt another ping and watched it fall once more to twenty percent. What in the actual fuck was happening?

“You have to call Reed. And Banner… I don’t care who, call fucking Pym for crying out loud!” Your emotions felt erratic and it certainly was well placed. A suddenly influx and loss of energy was screwing with your body, and thus, your mind, “If I don’t get my energy sorted out you’re going to have to sedate me. I really don’t want that.” You looked stoic.

Pietro grabbed your arm sharply, “No! We will not. We will figure this out together.” It had occurred to Tony, as he watched the interaction, that this could have very well been resolved by sending you back. Let your world deal with it, he thought. But you had saved them. Risking everything, risking crossing realities just to help theirs, and he would… what? Dump you back at the doorstep? It wasn’t right. Of course the selfish part of him wanted to keep you. There was no denying how incredibly similar you were. Your mannerisms and your inflections. It was surreal.

Then again, Pietro was just as identical. Which prompted you to pause, “Wait, this started when you took my hand, Pietro. When my energy started returning is when this kicked off.” Stark was already on the phone, listening both to you and Richards who was on his way over before he could finish talking on the other line.

He was dialing Banner as he spoke, “Are you saying it’s related to being here-? Banner! We need you back at HQ, buddy. Emergency, but no one’s hurt. Just get your ass over, OK? Jet’s already on its way to you.”

You shrugged, “It’s my only guess, but I don’t know why, and I don’t know why Pietro is getting my Pietro’s memories. I don’t know why I’m getting your Y/N’s.” You turned to Pietro the way you had so many times before. His face was distraught but so was yours. This time, when his hand rested against your cheek you leaned in.

You could feel his warmth as his forehead rested gently against yours, “Printesa, it will be OK. I promise you it will be.” You closed your eyes. It felt right and it felt good. Pietro. Your Pietro. It felt like him in a way that was too real to simply be your mind playing tricks. That memory, his own memory, was a sign of something else.

“I’m afraid.” Tears that you had fought so hard against began to slip downwards and over your cheeks. Tony was only able to watch as he babbled on to Pym who had clearly decided to argue. Pietro was brushing away your tears with his other hand, tilting your head up.

His smile was warm and at once you felt relief washing over you, “You need never be afraid again, Y/N. I am here with you.” To Tony, hanging up the phone and watching, it was as if nothing had changed. He didn’t want to say it wasn’t their you, but there was no way that you was anyone else. Then what about Pietro? Was he perhaps simply pining for his own lost one? Had he overheard you speak of a memory? His brain was running every scenario but he was also aware he would make no progress without the others. He needed help.


	6. Chapter 6

You fidgeted beneath some of the machines hooked up to your body, looking around the room awkwardly as Pietro eyed you from across the room. Strange had come down to monitor what was going on, mildly concerned about the situation. He was, of course, conducting his own examination on the silver-haired speedster while Tony was conducting his. Strange was holding up his hands, a green glow emitting as he spoke words that you didn’t quite understand. At the same time, you felt the wires connecting to your skin and around your scalp, monitors to the side beeping.

“This feels like when I first arrived all over again.” You fidgeted, watching as Tony squinted at the screen, Banner doing the same.

Bruce adjusted his glasses and looked at you, “I can only imagine. But you have to admit that this is pretty bizarre, even for all of us. You’re… Y/N. Even your mannerisms.”

He was right. Memories had slowly been trickling in, for both yourself and Pietro. It was odd to be feeling things that you had already felt though with a different memory. It was also hard not to be excited. You had lost your Pietro at the hands of Loki and it appeared the same had happened here. Different circumstances, of course, “But this is me. This has always been me. Have we considered the fact that I’m unique for a reason?”

Strange glanced up at Pietro and then to you, a speck of something in his eye as he approached the woman hooked up to all sorts of machines, “You bring up a fair question. What was it you had said again about the bracelets?”

You glanced down at them, having steadied at thirty percent, thankfully, “They allow me to ensure I don’t take in too much energy. They dampen it, otherwise I’d just absorb everything.” You shook your head, remembering how that had felt after two weeks of no sleep.

Strange nodded, “And what was it you said to me when you placed your hand on my chest back in your world?” He had a smirk on his lips and it was one you understood. 

Removing some of the wires, more focused now on Strange, you narrowed your eyes, “I returned to you your energy. I told you that I can restore energy to others.” It was like watching a puzzle get put back together, though in this case it was one that Strange understood far better than Tony or Hank might. Bruce wouldn’t even fully understand it.

“Is there a chance you’ve absorbed Y/N’s memories, and even Pietro’s, upon absorbing energy that existed here?” It was beginning to make sense.

Your eyes widened as you shot to your feet, taking a few steps back, “I… That means I have my own Pietro’s memories, too. His energy. Him.” You looked down at your hands, feeling suddenly so lost and not in control of your life. But this was Pietro. This was the man you knew. This was everything, “What if the worlds I exist in are so few because they meet certain… parameters?” Your eyes went back to Strange.

He nodded, “It’s possible. It would mean the energy signatures would have to be the same, and arguably… arguably you are in fact the Y/N we lost.” 

A pin could have dropped in that moment and it would have echoed in the space and chasm before them. It was in that moment you would remember for years to come that you felt a belief in something else. In anything else. But you turned and looked at Pietro, a feeling of relief washing over your as you steadily walked towards him, discarding your body of all that had been hooked to it, “Pete…” your voice was unsteady as you stopped a few feet away.

Pietro took in a few uneasy breaths, his voice cracking, “Printesa…” It was all he could manage. Even as he leaned in and dipped his head towards yours, taking your in his arms. The world blurred together as he pressed his lips gently against your own for the first time in a long time. All at once the memories rushed forward for both of you. You had been afraid that they might overwhelm you, but it felt more like reading a story. Pietro felt the warmth of energy moving and swimming into his body and at once he was healed. The gaping hole that was once where your memory lived had been filled again. You were home. He was OK. 

His fingers tangled into your hair as he held your close, you also holding tightly to him. Even with Tony Stark awkwardly clearing his throat the two of you barely budged. Strange had been smiling, however, noticing the white, swirling energy that encased you both. It wasn’t until you finally pulled away that you noticed it too. But you didn’t care, “I missed you so much.” Tears danced at your eyes and you felt yourself beginning to choke up.

Pietro only smiled, reaching up and brushing back your hair, “I have missed you so, Y/N. I have missed your touch, your smile… your warmth.” He leaned down again, gently resting his forehead on yours. It was your Pietro. It was his Y/N. There was no theft from another world, but rather a borrowing. Neither of them considered that this was not where you truly lived or belonged. Now was not the time for painful thoughts.

“I hate to be the one to break this up, but how exactly is this even possible?” Stark still wasn’t quite grasping the situation unfolding before him. Logically it didn’t make sense; therewas no way that Y/N was resurrected. 

Strange grinned, “Y/N’s abilities appear to have manifested in a rather interesting way. She absorbed her own Pietro’s energy, perhaps keeping it with her, and carried it here. When she released all that energy, Pietro’s released with it. Along with that, as she gained back energy from our Y/N. You know that, whole ‘energy cannot be created nor destroyed’ nonsense?” Strange smirked and Stark rolled his eyes dramatically, clearly having gained a better understanding, “Well, the energy has switched into both primarily because this is the Y/N we know, regardless of the memories. That said… because of the memories, she is essentially her double. This is Y/N.”

Stark, for the first time in a long time, remained silent as he watched you. He remembered holding onto your when you cried that first night in Avengers tower, believing you’d never quite fit. He remembered giving you the tank top that said STARK INDUSTRIES across it to replace the one you’d tattered saving lives. He’d stayed up with you that night and let you just be. You were a daughter to him in such a powerful way and now you were back. You had been ripped from his life and just as quickly you were back.

Which raised the question… “Are you able to identify which memories go where? If you’re absorbing it all, how can you tell the difference?” Tony was desperately looking for a flaw. It was hard to process the idea of getting this woman back. He thrived on logic and sense, but this made none.

But there was a quick nod, “Oddly, yes. I’m able to feel it, and it’s almost… colored differently. But most aren’t all that different from mine.” You shrugged, looking back at Pietro with a slightly moment of hesitation. 

The speedster nodded also, “I feel similarly. But I also feel… I’m not sure. Stronger?” He stretched an arm out and flexed slightly. His already toned arm did appear slightly firmer, though it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. You could only ponder the change, or perceived change letting out a bit of a giggle at flexing Pietro. 

Mostly everyone felt lost which was reassuring in itself. Strange had admitted that while he could test until he was blue in the face, he wouldn’t have any different answers than had already been put forth by the party involved. What they knew was that the common denominator here was you and your appearance in this world. There weren’t any answers right now, however. Strange had discussed going back to the Sanctum and looking up any spells that might help. Tony had agreed to work with Banner on tracking the energy. For now, you and Pietro were mostly free.

Begrudgingly you had agreed to go to your own room despite your need for Pietro. You understood that getting rest was critical, especially now that you could. The bracelets had steadied at about 25% and that was good. It also meant you could go back now, didn’t it?

It was a thought you didn’t want to have. Even as you curled under the blankets in your makeshift room you felt the future that threatened to come forth and tear you from Pietro. You knew he’d be in his room contemplating the same all the while still grieving the loss of his sister. His twin. The one he had grown with. You had seen what the loss had done to Wanda and the cost was immeasurable. Even with everything moving forward, you felt yourself finally drift off to sleep.

But you were not alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no... things are not as they appear. And now... now we have something entirely new.

He couldn’t believe it. Try as he might, the belief in what lay before him was not real. It couldn’t be. The woman he loved had been robbed from this world and he was to blame. And yet even as Loki stood in the bedroom that had once actually belonged to you, he was trying to register the figure before him. Of course he understood the violation of privacy in being here but he had to know. Heimdall had informed him of the change and he had told the guardian it was impossible. But was it? 

Robed only in his more casual Asgardian attire, he crouched by your bed. Her eyes were closed and your steady breathing told him that you were in a deep sleep. He had recognized it before, of course. Before everything had changed. Before he had been brainwashed and forced to watch as you were stolen and by his own hands. A part of him had wanted to die but he had thought living would be atonement enough. And here you were. Back.

Gently he reached out and brushed a piece of your hair back, a sudden wave of adoration sweeping over him as he felt your cheek. You stirred, only slightly, a peaceful look across features he recognized well. He had loved you, more than he thought he could, and Thor had warned him to be cautious. He had told him that your heart had belonged to Pietro and while he had listened it hadn’t stopped him from getting close to you. From loving you.

But he understood now was not the time. He would make his presence known when Thor could be with him and he could ensure Pietro would not attempt to harm him. While the others were still wary, he knew Pietro would be angry. Perhaps with you back, he wondered if it might ease the transition.

Leaning down he pressed his lips warmly against your forehead, “Rest well, Y/N. I’ll return post-haste.” And with that, his own form dissipated. 

You woke not long after Loki had vanished, confusion painted on your features. You thought you had felt something only briefly but had chalked it up to general confusion. Settling back into bed you had fallen asleep, dreaming deeply. You dreamed of memories with Pietro, memories of fighting with the Avengers here. Some memories matched identically with her former ones and some were new and yet so familiar.

And some… some were something so different.


	8. Chapter 8

When you did finally wake you felt rested, but you couldn’t shake one of the dreams you’d had. Whether or not it was a memory you were still trying to parse out and it wasn’t one you could simply ask about. It did feel strange to wake up in the rather sterile looking room and get ready for the day. She was again confronted with limited choices for clothing but had pulled out a STARK TECHNOLOGIES t-shirt and some sweatpants with a similar logo. Not a lot of options to be sure.

Sauntering to the kitchen it was clear that at five in the morning, you were the only one awake. Maybe Clint and Nat would be in the training room, Steve was probably getting ready to get up and go running. Bucky, who never slept well, would be reading. So perhaps not the only one awake, you were the only one present.

Getting to the kitchen you began the process of making coffee. This was by memory, but also by common sense. Most kitchens were alike, you had found, and getting the coffee moving had taken no effort. Guilt still rang through you as you moved about as though this were your home, acutely aware that it wasn’t. That was when you felt it, the familiar energy of a friend who didn’t quite see you as such now, “Hey, Nat.” You didn’t turn as you reached up for a second mug.

The spy sauntered in and made her way to the island in the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the stools, “You’re pretty good at that.” You turned with a soft smirk and placed a mug down for Natasha.

She turned fully and leaned back against the counter where the coffee was percolating, “Can I ask you a question about… your Y/N?” You felt nervous as the words left your mouth but it meant you couldn’t take it back. You had to know.

Natasha looked at the empty mug, admittedly nervous to be having a conversation with what felt like a ghost, “Ask away.” 

You inhaled sharply before looking down, “Was Y/N close with anyone else? I mean, I know your Y/N had friends, but… was there someone else she was especially close with?” It was awkward, dodging the real question you had. And asking it in such a strange way. But Natasha was a spy and she could discern what information was really being asked.

Unfortunately it was an answer she had been sitting on for some time and one that she’d shared with no one except You. Nat looked away, a telling sign in itself, “Sounds like you already know the answer to that one. Did another memory come back?” She’d been briefed before coming downstairs from her own living quarters, which was helpful. It meant she didn’t have to guess about what had happened. Seeing you and now knowing you was potentially their own lost Y/N made it all the more difficult to treat you as just another person.

The young woman nodded softly, “Yeah. I thought it was a dream but it felt so real.” She rubbed your head and nervously watched the coffee, waiting for it to finish.

Natasha was silent for a moment as she considered her words, “I was the only one Y/N told, and mostly because I’d seen it happen. Couple weeks before- well, you know. She –I mean, you- had been working with Loki for a while on an Asgardian artifact. He’d always been pretty smitten with you but Thor had consistently warned him against it. He took a risk and it turned out you felt the same way.” She nodded at the end to the coffee which had finished. You, who had been listening and feeling a pit growing in your stomach, turned and robotically began pouring the coffee.

Her voice felt quiet, “But I love Pietro. I don’t get it. I mean, I felt that kiss with Loki. I felt it. I remembered it. Standing on the roof as I waited to see him off back to Asgard. I know why I did it but… maybe all those memories haven’t come back yet. Was that it?” You watched as Natasha took her own mug, dousing it with sugar in a way that surprised almost everyone she met. 

It was hard to meet the stare of a friend she’d lost but had also gained back. It was harder to explain your poor choices with Loki, “No. But,” she thought for a moment on the conversation she’d had with you what felt like so long ago, “you were going to end it with both of them. I can’t tell you what was really going on, but I know you felt pretty guilty about it.” Natasha never judged others for their choices but she had told you that yours would end poorly if it kept up. 

Some of it returned as Natasha explained it, but it still felt so far away. Mostly, you guessed, because Loki hadn’t turned up yet. So why that single memory? You had felt it in a surreal way, standing in the warmth of summer atop of Avengers Tower, ready to kiss Loki’s cheek as he readied to leave. But he’d turned his head last minute and his lips had met with yours. In an instant you had frozen but you’d fallen into it quickly. He left before you could talk, and the rest of it was out of your reach.

“You said Loki left once I, you know-” you shrugged.

“Died?” Natasha glanced over her mug as she took a sip of coffee. You still hadn’t really touched yours beyond pouring it, “Yeah. He killed you. I mean, not him, but he felt responsible. Some of us tried to convince him being brainwashed and having your mind hijacked meant you couldn’t control it. Something made him think it was his fault, though. I guess he knew someone other than myself knew about the two of you. Y/N, someone wanted you dead. I’d say it’s a safe bet they may want that again if they find out you’re back.”

You had begun drinking your coffee when the realization settled in that someone had indeed murdered you. Without all of your memories back you wouldn’t be able to figure out who but you wondered if it made sense to stay now. She had a sinking feeling it had to do with your connection with Loki and someone else knew. Someone else had capitalized on it. But why would anyone want you dead?

You were rubbing your face and considering who, in the mighty list of evil baddies, would want you out of the picture enough to brainwash Loki. And who was powerful enough to do it? Your brain might have wandered forever but you felt a hand brushing your lower back, feeling lips against your bare shoulder, “Good morning, Printesa,” his voice was low and soft and so perfectly him. But amidst the love and adoration was a feeling of guilt for what you knew you had done and your awareness that you had been planning on leaving him.

A smile danced on your lips as you tried to focus on the good versus the poor choices this other version, yet still very much you, had made. It was easy to have not made that choice in the world you came from given how Loki was, but what if it was someone else? What if Steve had approached you while you were with Pietro? What if his own morals had been compromised for just a moment, would you have fallen?

Pietro wouldn’t pick up on your guilt or concern and you doubted Nat would say a word. And she didn’t. But the loss was still thick in the air for Pietro who stayed close as you turned to face him, “Morning, sunshine… how’re you holding up?” It was such a loaded question. He had lost his twin and you knew he would mourn, but it was in turn just as confusing and guilt-filling to be happy at your return. He had slept once you’d both returned to your rooms and both knew it was for the best. An unspoken understanding that things would need to move slowly.

He glanced down, taking your free hand gently, “Confusing. I want to celebrate having you, but… Wanda…” His voice trailed and you put your coffee down, moving to wrap your arms around him. You guessed he’d have a plethora of moments like this, as would any of them. They were happy and sad. It was a blessing and a curse. Dr. Doom was still hidden away and it might have been for the best. 

You whispered gently, “It’s OK to be sad she’s gone and focus on that, Pete. I’m not going anywhere,” you had wanted to add _right now_ to the end of it, but that seemed unnecessary. It did concern you that soon enough your own world might be acknowledging you were gone. Part of you hoped that your own Doctor Strange had decided to hold off on visiting as he wasn’t really due for another week. But what if Steve dropped in? What if they had their own emergency? _Let it go_ , you had instead told yourself. This was more important.

His strong arms felt gentle around your smaller form, “What did I do to deserve you, Y/N?” He whispered gently and all of the guilt once more washed over you. The very idea that you were going to end things felt so painful as Pietro held you warmly. But was it you? She was still trying to understand the change. This version of you had in fact been you, but had lived different lives. Maybe not so different. 

“I’ve got to get to Clint, we have some early morning training. Good talking, Y/N.” Nat nodded at you and you got the feeling that Natasha was referring to your detailed conversation. 

When Natasha had left Pietro pulled away, his eyes already red as he felt the sadness welling inside him again. He was wrestling with his own feelings of guilt at having lost his sister. His twin. He was once more blaming himself, but the guilt was even more. It was guilt at being happy for you coming and guilt for not mourning more. He shook his head, “Everything feels so… I can’t explain it. I am in pain, and yet there’s this joy. Then I feel more pain. I don’t know what to do.” His eyes closed tightly and you felt the need to hold him take over once more.

Maybe you was going to end your relationship, but right now that wasn’t the priority. Those memories were still so far away but the feeling still held close. There was this odd feeling of a split that persisted and something deep down told you the only way to rectify it was to collect all your memories. So how did you get those missing ones back?

You helped Pietro with his own morning routine, understanding he was moving in a fog. You felt some of yourself in his loss, remembering what it had felt like to wander around the day after he died. Clint had offered you coffee and Nat had followed for a moment trying to offer food. Tony had attempted to somehow get inside that emotional armor, but it was Steve that had broken in. Maybe it was because you were tired of fighting back, but he had been the first one you had opened up with.

But you remembered with a vivid kind of strangeness the fog you had wandered in. The words _Pietro has died_ would flash into your head and in those moments you would lose sight of the world. His smile might wander in and tears would pool as you thought to yourself how you’d never see that smile again. For a year you had grieved, even when you had gotten close to Steve. You had taken your time to keep yourself at a distance. Moving to the middle of nowhere was done to protect yourself and the Avengers had known that. You hadn’t recovered.

It felt as though it might be selfish to explain any of that as you wandered the kitchen with the detached twin. Instead you had pulled out coffee and food and had done what others had tried to do for you. You imagined had your own sibling died, Pietro would have done the same. As it was, you had grieved alone.

The rest of the team had begun to arrive which had allowed you some space. It was odd, seeing everyone arrive once more but for a new concern. You had excused yourself briefly as people filed in and began to speak, making your way back to your room. It all felt so foreign and confusing and for a moment you contemplated begging Strange to bring you back. He would, you knew, and he would do so without question. He was a good man that would never consider harming or risking someone who had done so much good.

So you crept through the now empty hall and made your way back to your room. Was it your room? It felt like a stranger’s room, vacant and sterile, but there wasn’t much to be done about that. You didn’t quite care about that. The way you looked at it, you had a few hours before people became concerned. Tony would be explaining to the group what was happening, they’d speak about Wanda, and then potentially they’d try and find you. Maybe Pietro would miss you. Maybe he’d notice sooner. Maybe he’d understand.

Finding your way to the large closet, the one that was just barely a walk-in, you pushed aside some of the items, unisex in form, that hung. A large blanket was grabbed from on top along with an extra pillow, shutting the door as you made what looked like a bit of a nest for yourself inside the closet. It had become a coping mechanism for your anxiety since you were small, and when you had developed your abilities, the next part had come.

In the darkness you held out your hand softly, cupping what looked like a soft ball of glowing blue light. It danced and flickered in the darkness of the closet, lighting the world around you just barely. It had felt soothing, to be holding energy in the palm of your hand, the warmth dancing through you. Your eyes would focus on the light and for a moment, but always longer, your fears and worries would dissipate. It had become hypnotic and calming, a strategy you had told to almost no one in your time. It was your own little secret that you held near and dear to your heart, sitting in the closet of the Avengers Tower, the world and chaos going on around you. 

Speaking of chaos…

A soft sound of movement in your room suddenly caught your attention as you glanced up from the warm ball of energy. Quickly you closed your hand, the light dissipating and releasing immediately. You were left in the darkness, peering out through a crack in the door to the bright room you had been housed in.

It was beyond a surprise, then, to see the man walking in your room. Black boots hit the carpet, gold and green robes moving with his own swift steps. A part of you, deep down inside, had wanted to scream. But there was a look on the man’s face that spoke of innocence and good intentions. This was the man they had spoken of when they spoke of Loki and this was not the same one that you knew. This was the man from your memory.

He was finally here. He was finally here for you.


End file.
